So I've just got my sick lazy ass off the "bed" and I'm starting my day with the lovely sound of my wheezing throat and clogged up nose.. I sound like an old woman who've had nothing for forty years but thousands of smokes and a shitload of whisky.
Me and J.J stayed with my mum over the weekend so Kongo and Alexi could have the appartment for themselves. Good for them, pretty bad for me.
- I mean I love to see Mami and get away once in a while, but when we ran from the busstop to her place it was freezing cold and to much snow.. I wasn't really dressed for the weather either so I got a cold which I think was send directly from a Mr. Belsebub himself.

---

Oh shit.. Well, I guess you should be glad anyways.. C'mon girl, wag your tail wag your tail!.. But I am a bitter lil cunt so screw it..
I have so much that needs to be taken care off and I just can't get to it. I need to get in touch with some Doc to get me some sleepingpills or whatna, I need to pay all bills and go to Netonnet's stock shop to get my camera fixed + a couple of hundred other things.
Fuck it.. I'm going to the kitchen.. this kitty wan't some smoked salmon. Prrr

This have been a interesting couple of days, no doubt. Been drinkin from Friday to Monday, so I'm not what you would call health itself right now..
It's been awesome though and it hasn't been just me and J.J.. Saturday kongo got home with a bag full of gin&tonic and that ofc loured Liz over.. The day after it was 3,5's all day and yesterday Posh Vandals rehearsed and after that we went home with with Liz and drank some more beer.. All'n'all..it was a fun weekend.

As sober as a judge..

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Anyhuu.. Did I go to Ki-Box? No, ofcourse I didn't.. But that's because SL is probably managed by evil lil greeneyed demons from the deepest pits of hell.. Could'nt match trains and busses up at all and it all turned to one fucking mess!
But we'll get cash soon and I'll try to get a real membership at that place and start to book less insane times or something.

Right now i'm sitting in my new Sixx T-shirt and I'm fucking jonesing for something and I have no idea what.. have been eating things with a huge resemblance to shit lately so I'm probably low on a bunch of stuff my body needs.
Well, well.. when we get some cash again we'll prob buy some better food.. like meat, GODAMN I miss meat..
A big ol fucking slice of some dead animal on a plate with redwine sauce.. Oh prrr, fucksake..prr!

And now I'm getting all worked up over that.. blah, I should probably stop ranting and do something productive.. like having a smoke..


Bye..

Glorious bankrobbers - dynamite sex dose

A really underestimated band if you ask me.

 

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Done some laundry today- about fucking time!
Like I've said before, i had nothing clean left so now I'm purring like a lil kitten in my fresh clothes that actually smell good!
Think I'm gonna order a glorious bankrobbers tshirt if I can afford it after tomorrows payments.. For some reason it's not all that fun getting your cash every month any more.. Once you get them in your paws you have to give 'em away again.. that hardly seems fair now does it?
Although it's mostly my fault (read: my fault and my fault alone) that some cash has to go away right away, but that's because I get into these shopaholic periods.. It's not all that bad as  it used to be, but still..

There's some belts and shit from Tradera but that won't cost more than a couple of hundreds all together if I'm lucky. Gonna sell off some shit too so it will work out.

 

Ki-box later today, it will be great to finally blow off some steam, my energylevel is going through the fucking roof here..

 

 

• clean up Nah, just cleaned the bathtub.. The guys where the good ones today
• book the laundryroom Sort off, Kongo did it instead
  
• get a shower YE!
• clean some clothes in the tub..I decided I wasn't white trash enough to do that
  
• Fix up something to eat J.J is the self-proclaimed housewife
• oh..and have time to go to the gym.. No. I went but because of some damn mishaps I was too late and had to go back home.. No afrodance for me today.. Ki box tomorrow though..

Pissed because I couldn't work out, now I wont be able to sleep.. fucking A..
Atleast I get another chance at it tomorrow. I'm thinking about doing some ki-core Thursday also.. Ah fuck..we'll see.
Don't have that much to write about now since I'm mostly filled with morbid and chaotic thoughts and who wanna read about that?
-ye, like I thought.

Night.

Fuck sake.. I hate Mondays.. I mean on Sundays you are supposed to feel like a dying dog but when you wake up on Monday morning, still worn out and sick, that's all bad man..
Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow so I can clean up around this place and actually do some good, just because.

So let's see if I can actually do what I intend to for once:

• clean up
• book the laundryroom (yeah, me and hubby does it rockstar-style now; no undies)
• get a shower before I start to smell like J.J's sweatpants or something ( love you anyways, darl ;* )
• clean some clothes in the tub.. (I have seriously nothing clean left)
• Fix up something to eat
• oh..and have time to go to the gym..

Woho...will let you know tomorrow if I was a good girl or a lazy cunt.

Night.

All hell's breakin' loose

Good way to start your day: Kiss - Discoveries album

Got my camera yesterday, the post office screwed up so I had to run around across town like a crazy person to get to it but fortunately I had my Hubby with me..
And ye, I hit a new low yesterday- called my grandpa and asked for cash.. Ofc, he transferred some.. and..not just some some..but ALLOT some.. Fuck sake..
oh well, now we can live at least.

Tonight: Yoga with Tjelsi-baby

Give me cash..ffs, give me..

• Tattoo
• piercing[s]
• vacation
• haircut
• Ehm..food -.-
• Camera
• medicine

Okey, so I'm not malnourished or got the plague..But I want to do stuff too, so sue me.

Oh yeah.. I soo started updating this blogthingy.. way to go disciplin!
Anyway.. what's new? A bunch of things so..ehr fuck it.. the most important I guess is that..

• Me and my Hubby is about to celebrate halfayear together..
• We moved out from Kongo's place..
• We moved back to Kongo's place
• I've lost like 5 cellphones, one wallet( who I got back fortunately), a camera worth 20 00 kr and my very first drumsticks which reminds me..
• I did start to take drumlessons, but then I moved up to Stockholm and it all went to shit..but hopefully I'll take it up again.
• I've realized I'm not sick..although I do have some weird shit going on inside my head and should take a closer look at that..
• I've had pneumonia for the second time of my life and this time It wasn't a near death experience.

How interesting, huh?
Now..I'm just laying on mine and JJ's shitty madrass on the floor, he's sleeping as usual and I'm too fucking warm to sleep.. fever is a bitch..

I'm having a hard time adjusting my way of thought to this new life..You know, I just can't get over this "I'm a raging maniac"-thing, and it's starting to wear me down real bad from time to time..
It's like damn shit is coming my way constantly. I'm all chatoic and messed up mentally since I don't know how to help my babysis'. Her ex comitted suicide just the other week..and she's fucking heartbroken! I mean..what the FUCk can I do? I wanna take that pain away from her so badly..But shit, man..how could I?

Talked to my grandpa today and he's not feeling well att all.. I think he's getting worse, much worse. And I hate the thought, can't stand the thought of him not being here anymore. He is and has always been just as much as a father to me as my actual dad- sometimes more..
I mean.. I love that goofy old man with all my black lil heart.

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"write it down, get it out of your head and you'll feel better"

yeah, thanks for that advice mf.. Writing doesn't stirr all the shitty thoughts up, huh?
..Screw you

Insert emotional post here



If you don't know me you probably don't know that I've been more or less hospitalized back and forth since the age of thirteen 'till a couple of years ago. Am I sick? No, but I was manipulated to believe so. In this country you're either normal or criminally insane, can you guess which one they labeled me with?
Intensity and a high IQ is clearly not a good thing, and the freaky part of it all is that I realized just a couple of months ago that I'm not sick, never were. So I'm trying to fight the picture of me as a crazy girl with multiple personality disorder, which is not an easy thing considering my arms are full of scars ( for other reasons I don't feel a need to explain), and trying to act like a sane person which ofc I know nothing about. You expect a crazy chick to freak out when she drinks, you don't expect a sane woman to do so but if you've lived under the presumption that you are indeed insane for over 6 years you automatically start to act like it. If you're told that you are sick, weak and less worthy for so many years.. fuck, ofc you're going to believe it! I'm getting stronger and stronger and I'm beginning to learn how to take care of myself in a different way and fight other things, not just shrinks and other retards. But when I drink.. well, sometimes that insecure freak of nature creeps out and begs for attention and for someone to take care of her and holy hell do I hate that person, but I'm so angry all the time and when I don't get an outlet for all that rage, that's when my lil sick monster pops up and fuck everything up.. I'm working on it, please believe.. 'cause that side of me is fucking craise, but it takes time and yes, I'm worried like hell that people will see it before I get myself under control and then leave, but have experiences taught me anything it is that if you're worried people are gonna leave you, you start to try too hard and when you try to hard.. fuck it's too obvious and then you get taken for granted and everything blows up in your face.
Oh well, enough rambling, fuck it all and it will turn out ok, right?

The best way to lose something is by wanting it too much